We were coming up on the
half hour, and I knew we technically could stay, but if we didn't leave now
we'd never have time to go tracting and reach our goal of one new
investigator. We left, and we found the
family Heavenly Father wanted us to teach. :)
I have a testimony of
obedience. The more we follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost, the more we
will receive them. The more we receive them and follow them, the more we will
recognize them!
That which is of God is
light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more
light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day. D&C 50:24
That night I went to Bellevue
for exchanges with Sister Ferrin. I got to be with her on her birthday which
was lots of fun :)
I also learned while with her
that I am indeed in a foreign mission. I taught a guy from South Africa, met
someone from Haiti, Iran, India, Mexico, France, Philippines, etc. It's just a
huge melting pot of different cultures and languages in Nashville!
At the end of our exchange we
got back together with the other Sisters. I wasn't feeling very happy for some
reason, and I was concerned I'd take the darkness and bring it into my own area
when I went back with my companion. As I talked with the other Sisters about
what they had done while I was away, I began to focus on each of the people
they were telling me about. As I focused my mind on them, I could feel my heart
begin to change and the light seep in to being. The dark clouds went away and I
was so thankful to Heavenly Father for helping me get my mind and heart focused
on others. 
We had a mission conference
which explains how something like this works. You see, there's a difference
between exponentially receiving light and linearly receiving light. When we
study for ourselves, when we pray for ourselves, when we focus on ourselves,
Heavenly Father can only shed a one-person's worth amount of light (or
revelation) within us. This produces a linear effect. Day by day getting one
step up and over on the graph.
When we study for others, pray
for others, and focus on others, then Heavenly Father will not just give us the
amount of light (or revelation) needed for ourselves, but he gets to heap on
all that light (revelation) that is needed for others! Often times the
revelation we get for others applies to ourselves and future experiences. The
more light we receive that way, the faster our pools of light grow and the
greater the pools are, the greater the room to receive more becomes. Hence,
exponential growth. "For...light cleaveth unto light" (D&C 88:40)
Okay, they didn't actually
share all that at our mission conference, that was just me getting sort of
technical and confusing with the visual hahaha.
This week I was especially
sensitive to all of the light that others were able to shine on me from their
own personal vessels. For example, Emily is a junior
in high school. Emily likes to come teach lessons with us. One day, Emily
shared an experience she had in which the Spirit helped her make the decision
to completely delete her Instagram account because it wasn't bringing in any
light to her life. She recognized that a lot of it was just an altered reality
designed for superficial approval. I really admired her example.
In a lesson with a man named
TJ, I was thrown back to my psychology days. TJ is very hung up on the whole
"human nature" (natural man) aspect of religion. He tried to explain
to us how religion is just a thing of the mind and I found myself becoming
confused and my own light begin to dim. As this happened, Brother Boughton, the
member we brought with us, bore a beautiful testimony of the divinity of the
Savior and a loving Heavenly Father. He spoke of a spiritual being (the Holy
Ghost) who can connect with our own spirits. Spiritual truth is learned when
what is true to our mind and what feels right in our heart align. As he spoke,
I felt my own mind being enlightened and my heart lock into place with what I
was thinking.
I recognized that TJ would
tell me this was just my subconscious clinging to anything to support what I
had been taught my whole life. But there was something about the difference
between the two men standing before me that I couldn't shake. One was so
confused, unsure, and indistinct- the way I had been starting to feel. And the
other was certain, powerful, and illuminating. As I listened to Brother
Boughton I felt enlightened and deified in my mind and heart. I'm not sure if
I've ever experienced anything quite like that. It was very simple and very
subtle, so that I could not declare 110% that it was a spiritual experience
from God- but I do know I felt it. I felt the seed of faith within myself
growing, and I am confident that if I continue to nourish that seed it will one
day turn into sure knowledge. I am so grateful that in that moment Heavenly
Father blessed this Brother with an exponential increase in light to shine on
all who were present.
Yea, behold, I will tell
you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon
you and which shall dwell in your heart.
D&C 8:2
Similarly, we met a Scientologist the other day who believes very much in our human nature, but also
just as strongly in a spiritual nature. He explained that he believes our
spirits host our bodies and when we die they go grab another one. "It's a
trap," he explained, "you never stop repeating life." As he shared this, I
felt the darkness creep in and the light fade out. Not only did I feel it, but
it made me confused, too. Again, this feeling in the mind and heart was so
different then how I feel when I share the truth that I know- that it is
further evidence to me that the gospel of Jesus Christ is real.
Unfortunately, where there is
light somewhere else there is dark. We saw on the Nolensville community
facebook page a post about the religious people who knock on their doors... The
comments were unkind and discouraging.
On a lighter note, the other
day Jeff was trying to tell us in his Jeff-like way that he was a "dark
guy" and we just didn't understand his "dark past and
personality". My response was: "Jeff stop. You're not dark, you're
just dramatic!". That snapped him out of his glum outlook and we all had a
good laugh.
So it's going to take Jeff a
few months before he can get baptized. We did a workshop with him to help him
live the word of wisdom, which was a big concern. I fasted for him on Sunday.
As I was fasting, I was getting a little grouchy about not getting to eat. Then
the spirit reminded me that as I am overcoming my natural man and physical
desires, it will grant Jeff that same strength to overcome his! After the
workshop Jeff asked Brother Patin who was with us, "Do you have the
priesthood authority?? Because I read in that booklet they gave me that if you
need extra help you can have a blessing done to you."
Bless his heart it was the
greatest thing! He most definitely got a blessing, in which his Father in Heaven reminded him of the light he has within himself and the light of others
around him who will be able to luminate his path towards baptism and Jesus
Christ :).
Wherefore, I beseech of
you, brethren, that ye should search diligently in the light of Christ that ye
may know good from evil; and if ye will lay hold upon every good thing, and
condemn it not, ye certainly will be a child of Christ.
Moroni 7:19
My year mark came this week.
That was a little frightening. I'm thinking back to how much time flew in
Sparta and Paducah, and knowing that's all the time I have left I'm freaking
out! I'm also very determined. I have 6 months to find everyone I'm supposed to
find, and become the person I'm supposed to become. Pressures on! But I can do
:) I'm wearing Jesus's name, nothing can go wrong!
Love,
Sister Hochstrasser
Write to me!!
Sister Jennifer Hochstrasser
Tennessee Nashville Mission
105 West Park Dr Ste 190
Brentwood, TN 37027
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